When I was younger, I had a plan: go to college, start my career, get married around 22 or 23, first baby at 24, etcetera etcetera. It was a pretty solid dream, but when I started reaching those ages, I looked back at my little ol’ plan with a hearty laugh.
First of all, starting a career and building up my portfolio is hard work. And the whole marriage thing? That was nowhere near happing. And babies?! For one, that wasn’t happening for me without the marriage part, and secondly, how was I expecting myself to care for a wee little baby when I still felt like one myself?
(Side note: If I knew being an adult was going to be so hard, I wouldn’t have signed up for it HAH. Who can I talk to about a refund!?)
But back to goal setting. It’s normal for us to dream and have aspirations (we should!), but expecting ourselves to reach them by a certain point is, in the words of the great Gwen Stefani, B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Life just doesn’t work that way. It’s not going to revolve around what we penciled in our planner ages ago — and that’s ok! I mean, it’s incredibly frustrating sometimes, but that’s ok! Haha.
In “Lost,” Dermot Kennedy sings, “I’ve learned in love and death, we don't decide.” Just the thought of that — that the universe is so much bigger than all of us and that we have no control over meeting the love of our life or facing unbearable tragedy at any moment — whew. It just puts everything into perspective. This whole thing is His. Not ours, His. For Him, for His glory. And even if we can’t see what tomorrow holds, why should we let worry creep into our minds? Why live in fear when we can live in light?
It’s so easy for us to compare our lives (and timelines) to everyone else’s. If you ever feel like you’re not measuring up, remind yourself that God created YOU in His perfect image. Delete your social media apps for the night, day, weekend or month. Focus on the unfiltered, living color around you and take in the beauty of your own life. Your journey might be dissimilar to everyone else’s, but that’s the beauty of it! The paths we take are all different and beautiful and unique because they’re OURS.
Society has fixed it into our brains that we have to be married, have a baby, climb the corporate ladder, yadda yadda, by a certain age, when that’s just completely untrue. At the end of the day, the only thing making us feel that way is us. Our thoughts, our feelings, our mindset.
So what should you expect when you’re not expecting, engaged or conquering the corporate world?
Nothing + everything. The more we expect, the more we limit the greatness of our potential. But at the same time, never stop trusting in God’s timing and plan for your life — His will is better than any of our wildest expectations.
ps — if you need some musical encouragement, check out the latest from my home girl, Maren Morris: